tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449636359348576707.post7898537566802564671..comments2012-01-15T12:47:00.673-08:00Comments on It Is What It Is: Patheticspielbeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08203728594581280878noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449636359348576707.post-3260898929199798502010-12-18T12:23:15.916-08:002010-12-18T12:23:15.916-08:00Full of doubt or fear? I can't tell. Maybe b...Full of doubt or fear? I can't tell. Maybe both. 10 year old girls can instill that in all of us, and have a wicked sense for how to do it in the most powerful and poingant way. Sometimes they show their intention, sometimes they are subtle, and sometimes we probably infer what was never implied due to our natural insecurities as parents.<br /><br />To that point, I suggest you remember that 10 year olds only think in the short term. If you find love, and that brings stability and caring, she will forget her challenge and the long term benefit will outweigh her short term fight. Of course, balancing her psychological and social needs in the meantime will be a bitch. (sucks.)<br /><br />- Are there returns? For real? Are there? I'm not seeing it. <br />Yes. There are. It's always work. Never quite easy. But it doesn't have to be as hard as you've had. And being in a partnership where you can feed off each other's successes and balance each other's abilities comes with natural rewards. Concrete ones. Like someone is good at cleaning the dishes and the other is good at keeping everyone on schedule. And of course there's the sex, the compassion, the comfort and all the other positive emotions. But it's work. Gotta put away the self-sabotage, lock up your passive aggressive, bridle your sarcasm as necessary, throw your toolbelt that carries "accusation", "jealousy", "argumentative", "manipulative" and "spiteful" into the garbage disposal. Take your "supportive", "patient", "generous", "forgiving", "trusting" and "friend" tools out of the back of the shed and give them some TLC cause you're going to be using them a lot, even when it tastes a little sour to do so.<br /><br />It's not pathetic to have doubts. It's not wrong to let experience and time weigh you down. And it's never all roses even when it works out. However, it's wrong to give up. It's bad to give in. It's terrible to forego a chance because you're not sure you can survive another failed attempt. If you're using spielbee to dump the negativity so you can bring a positive attitude toward a relationship (including helping your daughter through the transition as well as trusting in yourself and him where necessary) that's okay. But try not to let the negativity creep off the page (into the "real world"). <br /><br />Remember that you used to see only the best in people. You've shared in the successes of friends and basked in their glory. You've had people who looked up to you since they met you. There have been sunny days on the beach, warm nights by a fire, long nights turned to morning while dancing, videos or films you made that made others laugh, drinks shared with friends, good meals, late night jobs, and joy with your kids. You've had it all, do the work so you can have it again. And enjoy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com